Time, something that full of mystery I don't understand until now. It's powerful to build and destroy our self. It bites our ages and erase our memory. It took our family and it gave the new ones. I'm afraid of age, i'm afraid of time, sometime I am afraid of changing. It hurts, but it should to be done.
In my ages, i have so many steps to be here in my life which is can't be understood by others. I've been child, teenager and now is in young adult when everything becomes real. I ever passed the scene where i went to train station to pick my sister and brother up came home with train. I went back again to accompany them back to Jakarta and Bandung. I picked my parents too and accompanied again to station, then i cried. I cried a loud when I saw hands were waving for me who were always alone among the crowded place. I love my family, more than everything in the world. They taught me kindness, good things, God, Religion and everything that i need to survive among the difficulty of the world. Now, I understand, when you are getting older, everything has changed...
Recently, i wasn't in a good mood because i messed my soul with unimportant things that i shouldn't take it hard. Friends are becoming so complicated, study becomes hard and works are messed. No one besides me to support or gives me any advice or motivation. Since i realize that i'm not child or teen anymore, then people will stay away from me to rule their own business. So I didn't care others, did I?
Until in one night difference with my father's 72's birthday, i was in doing assignment and i heard the song of 7 Years of Love which is sung by Kyuhyun Super Junior. Actually this song is told about someone who can't move on from his boy friend, but i catch the other meaning of tittle with my own perception. When i heard that song, seems many memories were reversing back til when I picked up and accompanied my parents, sister and brother went to Station. It was miserable because i realized that when you are getting older, then everything becomes real.
My father were passed away one year ago while i couldn't believe until now that someone could pass away in short time when i wasn't ready to accept that. That was time who ate his ages, and time was so nightmarish. When you were getting older, everyone started to leave you alone with your own decision, your own job and life. It really becomes real because i couldn't find the happiness in my 10 years ago. I couldn't find the same level of happiness when my family are always beside me, when i cry for them because i have them for my own. I have their attention, i never feel jealous. I missed them, especially my father.
It was too childish when i wrote this kind of passage. But this is the only thing that i can pour my miserable feelings. I didn't have other ear to hear my sadness, people are liking to hear your laughing mouth than your crying heart. Sometime we don't need them to understand us, but when your friends are beside me, you will feel the comfortable, right? it just for some moments, you are not alone in this world.
Ages again, which ate our happy memory with our family. When time can't allow you to be with your family again, when you are placed to be face of death and sacrifice in this world. You can't go back but you should face of those things. I'm afraid of changing, when everything didn't work like 10 years ago. Of course, this is the reality. How if your family or friends are taken by time again? Will you can be so though to face of the reality?
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